Seven sensational sea lions decided to run for president

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Seven sensational sea lions decided to run for president.

The first roared, “Vote for me! I am the most incompetent.”

The second bellowed, “Vote for me! I am the foulest of all.”

“Me! Me!” shouted the third, “My greed and corruption do appall.”

“Me! Me!” screamed the fourth, “Under my reign the law shall have no value.”

Better deeds than words, the fifth sea lion shot someone on Fifth Avenue.

Pulling out his trump card, the sixth sea lion led a massacre of neighboring dolphins.

But it was the seventh who won, having done all the above also, on the order of Putin’s.

【参考译文】
七只棒棒的海狮决定参选总统。
第一只吼道：“投票给我！我是饭桶中的饭桶。”
第二只咆哮：“投票给我！我是坏蛋中的坏蛋。”
“我！我！”第三只大喊，“我的贪婪腐败会让你发颤。”
“我！我！”第四只尖叫，“我的统治将把法律变成一纸空文。”
动口不如动手，第五只海狮在第五大道上开枪射击行人。
一川吞没一川，第六只海狮带领手下对隔壁企鹅大开杀戒。
但最终获胜的是第七只——普爹同庆，他照做了上面提到的一切。